even the clothes here aren't right
by secretsoftheood
Summary: Mrs Pevensie takes Susan to buy a new dress. Lucy follows along too. What should have been a nice girl's trip into London ends up being a moment of reflection for the youngest Pevensie. Part two of the "Adapting" series


Lucy couldn't help the small spring in her step as they entered the dress store. Her mother had insisted on getting a new dress for Susan, after discovering that she had had a growth spurt since returning from the country. When Mrs. Pevensie had told her eldest daughter that she intended for them to go out dress shopping together, she wasn't surprised to hear Lucy request to join in but was instead surprised for Susan to eagerly accept said request.

While both Lucy and Susan were trying to adjust to being back in London, the two girls still appreciated being able to browse through clothes in a store setting. While the store didn't have as much variety in style as others Susan had seen in her mother's magazines, there were still more dresses in the room than she had seen in one place for quite a long time. _Although_, Susan thought to herself, _nothing is quite the same as having dresses made and tailored specifically for oneself_.

Lucy lightly tugged on Susan's arm, and grinned up at her. "It feels like forever since I've seen you in a summer dress." The girl exclaimed. "Oh, please try one on for me Su!"

Susan laughed at her sister's dramatics. "You've seen me in plenty summer dresses Lu, just not ones as short as the ones you're pointing at."

"Exactly." Lucy spoke. "All I have seen you in since we've been back is in those stuffy dresses of yours. I'm beginning to wonder if you still have knees or collar bones."

Susan covered her mouth so as not to be heard sniggering. "Lucy!" she tried and failed to sound upset at her sister's lack of decorum.

Her sister grinned cheekily up at her.

Mrs Pevensie returned from the front desk of the store to see her two daughters trying to cover their laughter with a round of obviously fake coughs. With a small smile to herself she reflected upon the changing nature of the two girls' relationship. While Lucy had always looked up to Susan, the eldest tended to push herself away from her siblings in recent years, unless the situation called for an elder sibling's advice or she felt the need to take charge. Since returning from the country however, Susan had seemed to get along better with each of her siblings and her bond with Lucy seemed the strongest Mrs Pevensie had ever seen it. While Lucy still carried respect and looked up to her elder sister, it seemed as if Susan also carried the same respect for her younger sister. For not the first time Mrs Pevensie wondered what the countryside had held for her children.

"Mother, tell Susan she must try on a summer dress." Lucy insisted with an impish grin.

Mrs Pevensie looked at the dresses Lucy had been gesturing to and then back at the two girls. While she didn't intend on getting Susan a summer dress yet, it wouldn't hurt for her to try one on and it would keep Lucy happy. "Go on Susan, just pick one you'd like to try on and then we can move on."

"If I must." Susan gave a wary sigh that didn't quite match her twitching lips.

Lucy followed her sister over to the dressing room and stood outside the curtain waiting eagerly for her sisters reveal. She looked over her shoulder to see her mother was nearby, enough to keep an eye on her girls, but she was clearly paying more attention on dresses she thought would be appropriate to buy Susan.

"Happy now, Lu?" Susan asked, pulling the curtain aside to reveal herself donning a flowery summer dress with a flared skirt. Lucy grinned at her sister, feeling glad to see her sister wearing something girlish and carefree. While not in the same style as some of the dresses the gentle queen would wear, the pattern reminded Lucy of the embroidered flowers that would trace the sleeves of Susan's dresses whilst they were ruling.

"Give me a twirl and I might just be satisfied." Lucy said with a laugh.

"Only for you my Queen." Susan said with a mock curtsy, before giving a twirl. The skirt flared up as she spun, at a height that her mother wouldn't view as decent but created a lovely blend of colour for the two girls.

"It's very nice Susan, but I don't think its what we are looking for right now." Mrs Pevensie's voice cut through the sisters' moment. Her words where calm and non-offensive, but Lucy caught a slight furrowing of her mother's brow as she looked at the length of the dress.

Lucy caught herself mimicking her mothers slightly furrowed brows herself as she thought of the merits of modesty. She knew that while the two were back home they had to subscribe to London's views of modesty, but it was frustrating at times when she could remember so clearly the nymphs and fauns views on modesty and how she would often join in with their late night festivities in little more than her night gown. Lucy let a quite sigh release from her lips and shook herself out of such bittersweet thoughts.

They were in London, not Narnia. Here they were English women instead of Narnian royalty, and it was expected of them to behave like so. Lucy quietly decided in this moment that even if she and her sister would have to conform to the strict London society, she would find a way for the two of them to hold on to their free spirits. Perhaps she would ask Susan to take her on a picnic by their favourite lake side - where few knew how to get there and even fewer even bothered.

She was shaken out of her thoughts when she heard the curtain close again, and noticed her mother standing beside her holding both the dress Susan had tried on for her in one hand as well as some dresses she had clearly picked out for her eldest daughter to try on in her other hand.

"Lucy, would you be a dear and go put this back?" Her mother asked, handing her the flowery dress.

Lucy accepted the task with a polite smile and walked away back into the bright colours of the summer season clothes. Placing the dress back on the rack she couldn't help but run her fingers along the fabric of the dress beside it. She hadn't paid much attention to it early, as she was focused on looking at dresses for her sister as opposed to herself, but it was a lovely shade of green that reminded her vaguely of a dress she wore a lifetime ago.

Feeling subdued the apparent young girl took a step back, and noticed she had to actively crane her neck back in order to inspect the dresses. Lucy's stomach grew tight with an emotion she couldn't place. Hearing her sister's soft voice talking to her mother, Lucy shook her head softly and shifted her attention back to the task at hand.

She walked back to see her mother standing besides Susan who was staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her mother was clearly happy with the dress she had on – a sensible soft blue dress, with tidy sleeves ending at the shoulders and a thin belt cinching the waist in. The dress was also at a modest length, ending a full three inches below her sister's knees.

Lucy thought the dress was sweet and sensible, perfect for English girl of her sisters apparent age. She found herself disliking it immensely and had to refrain herself from screwing her nose up at it when her eyes met her sisters in the mirror.

"What do you think Lu?" Susan asked, turning around.

"Its very smart." Lucy replied.

"It is isn't it?" Susan gave a wry smile. "I thought you might approve of the colour though."

Lucy had to nod her head in approval at the colour. "It is a pretty colour. Reminds me of those crushed robin eggshells we would find walking through the trees."

Her sister hummed in agreement.

"Was this in the country girls?" Their mother asked politely, trying to remember when the girls had walked through any forestry together while home.

"oh, yes." Lucy was quick to agree. "Susan and I often went on long walks through the trees together. If not for the scenery, there was always someone to see."

Before her mother could ask her to elaborate Lucy had wondered off to inspect a dress that had caught her eye.

"Someone to see?" Her mother turned to Susan with an inquisitive brow.

Susan flushed slightly. "Oh, you know Lu. She liked to play pretend on those walks. The only people we would have really bumped into on the professor's land was our brothers or Mrs McCredie."

"Right." Her mother gave a tight smile but accepted her daughter's explanation.

Susan looked at her mother and gave her a bittersweet smile. "These dresses you've picked are lovely Mum. Really, whichever one you'd rather buy I will be perfectly happy with."

"Susan…" Mrs Pevensie looked at her daughter, taken aback. "I want to get you a dress that you'll be happy with. I know we don't exactly have the money to spend on those higher end ones I know you love, and I wont buy you one of those flimsy ones your sister suddenly seems interested in, but I truly would like you to have a nice dress that you love."

Susan smiled at her mothers' words. "Then I would like this one." She spoke softly. "The colour does remind me of those robin eggs Lucy mentioned, and I suppose it goes with my eyes."

After taking the dress off and handing it to her mother so she could purchase it for her, Susan walked off in search for her younger sister. She found her looking at young women's dresses which were even too large for Susan at this age. Lucy noticed her sister come up behind her but didn't turn around to acknowledge her. Susan sensed that her sister didn't want to be interrupted in her thoughts and so waited for her to speak.

"This dress reminds me of the one I wore to our first Samhain festival." She spoke softly.

The dress didn't bear much resemblance to any of the gowns the queens wore according to Susan's memory.

"The colour." Lucy pointed out. "My gown was the same green. Mr Tumnus said it reminded him of the moss near his house, which would have sounded insulting from anyone else, but I liked the thought of it actually." She gave a twisted smile at the memory.

Susan knew Lucy was still struggling with the loose of Mr Tumnus, and so she refrained from speaking again.

"And see how long the sleeves are? Ours used to be that long, but they were open and flowed with your movement not restricted like these." Lucy was frowning at the dress now.

"I forgot how restricting stockings were." Susan muttered, knowing it would get a smile out of her sister. And it did, for a moment.

"When I first saw this dress, I thought I wanted it but the longer I look at it the more it looks wrong to me." Lucy turned to her sister. "Do you understand what I mean?"

Susan gave a small hum in thought. "Sometimes I feel like everything is wrong, but I just focus on being present where we are. That's a nice dress by London's standards and therefore it should be a nice dress by our standards."

Lucy didn't like the sound of that.

She tried to brush away the phantom memories of her gown flowing behind her as she ran through the woods with her friends. She wouldn't be able to feel that again now she was in London. She had to try to look for the good in her situation.

Shaking her head softly as if to shake away her troubling thoughts, Lucy looked at another dress in the row. This one was a deep blue, with long sleeves like the other one however it didn't appear to be cinched in the waist. Lucy ran her fingers over the fabric and realized it would be as free as she could get in the world of confining dresses.

With a small smile to herself she pulled the dress down to inspect it closer against herself.

"Lu…" She heard her sisters voice soft with concern behind her.

At first, she didn't process why her sister sounded that way, but when she pulled the dress down against her small body and she felt her stomach clench in an uncomfortable way she realized why. She had been staring at the dresses for so long she had forgotten the biggest issue with them – they were no longer her size. And wasn't that a funny thing? To no longer be the right size usually meant you had outgrown a dress, but Lucy realized she would have to grow for a few years before she would ever be able to think of trying this dress on.

Lucy silently placed the dress back on the rack and turned to her sister. An ugly part of her wanted to cry when she realized that her sisters' body -while still younger than it should be- looked closer to the body she had grown familiar with than her own.

"I want to go _home_." Lucy said.

"I know Lu," Susan gave her a watery smile. "I do too."

When their mother found them both she noticed they had gone more subdued but accepted Susan's reasoning that Lucy was tired because she didn't sleep well. It was common for at least one Pevensie in the household to have a nightmare of some sort at this point.

"Well let's get you girls home then." Their mother said with a soft smile as she ushered the two girls out of the shop and gave them both a kiss on the forehead.

If Lucy cried when they arrived at the house her sister didn't say anything; she would just take her sisters hand in hers comfortingly as she knew that this wasn't the home Lucy was referring to.


End file.
